Nick Antosca has a piece up over at the Huffington Post on Noah Cicero and the recent 3:AM party at the KGB Bar. Nick also answers a few questions from Tao Lin on Noah here:
TL: You visited Noah Cicero in Ohio recently, is this true?
NA: This is true. I stayed at his house for a few days.
TL: What was in Noah’s refrigerator?
NA: Not much. Some water, maybe some hot dogs.
TL: What did Noah eat for dinner?
NA: We had the combo meal at Lone Star Steakhouse one day. It included shrimp, steak, and steak soup.
TL: In the evening did you and Noah sit in his living room in front of a blazing fire in the fireplace smoking cigars with your feet on a bearskin rug? If not, what did you do?
NA: No, we went to a strip club where a lapdance costs $5. We played pool with the dancers.
TL: What brand toothpaste does Noah use?
NA: No idea.
TL: Did it seem like Noah cleaned his toilet before you got there?
NA: I can’t remember thinking the toilet was either clean or dirty.
TL: Is there a framed portrait of Jonathan Safran Foer in every room of Noah’s house?
NA: No. There is a picture of Natalie Wood, a picture of Jayne Mansfield, a lot of pictures of Marilyn Monroe, and some other pictures I can’t recall. There are only three rooms in Noah’s house but there are actually quite a few pictures up.
TL: Can you reproduce for us a sample conversation between you and Noah?
Noah: There’s a steel mill.
Me: Looks depressing.
TL: Will Noah ever write a 500 page novel with a plot centered around a current event with flashbacks to create a feeling of urgency and suspense and then get profiled in the New York Times Magazine standing on a bearskin rug wearing black-horn-rimmed glasses, do you think, based on what you learned about him on your visit?
NA: I doubt this very much.
TL: Does Noah live in a five million dollar mansion and have five manservants all named Bertrand who collaborated to write his books, The Condemned, The Human War, Burning Babies, and Treatise for him while Noah lectured them about the sentagraph while bathing naked in a solution of cherry juice with cucumber slices over his eyes? If not can you describe his living conditions for us?
NA: He does not. He lives in a three-room house with a lot of books and with Bernice Mullins, who is charming. An ice cream truck drives by playing the melody to that Quaker song that goes, “‘Tis a gift to be simple, ’tis a gift to be true [etc].” The ice cream truck sells ice cream bars whose wrappers are emblazoned with the names of professional wrestlers like Macho Man Randy Savage. Noah buys these and sits out in the sun on a lawn chair that leaks watery rust if there has recently been rain.
First posted: Tuesday, July 24th, 2007.
