:: Buzzwords

Five for: Lara Konesky

By Alan Kelly.

larakonesky

1) Give me one word you’d want to fuck?
I don’t want to fuck any word that has the letter, “u” in it. To me, that letter is like a fat chick with no tits. Otherwise, most words look good to me. I am such a word whore.

2) What is the most annoying word you always forget to spell?
I misspell lots of words because it really is hard to type with these fake ass nails, Alan. Really.

3) Which is better: “Isn’t” or “Never, not Now Lara”?
“Never, not now, Lara.” I like a challenge. I will beat the shit out of, “never, not now, Lara.” Beat the shit out of it, and maybe marry it at some point down the road.

4) What does the word “literature” mean?
It means I don’t have to try as hard to get laid.

5) Write me a two sentence poem about this interviewer.
It’s sad because I am pretty sure you don’t want me
not like that
and if you did, I would probably be a bigger asshole to you, anyway.
So, all in all, I would be happy watching porn with you,
and ordering a pizza. Let me know if you change your mind.

Lara Konesky is an Ohioan poet and author of the collection Next to Guns, published by Grievous Jones Press.

First posted: Monday, September 28th, 2009.

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