:: Article

Gutter Mouth

George was lashed.
Totally pissed
Out of his skull
The night the lad’s and me,
Dragged him off of the McDonald brothers
In the ‘Old Parsnip and Barrow Arms’.

‘You don’t mess with cunts like the McDonald’s.’
I’m trying to tell him.
‘Men like that play by different rules.’

But George is all puffed up,
Giving it all this alpha shit,
Something about his bird Dawn,
Taking one cock in her mouth
And the other in her fanny.

‘I’LL BITE YER FUCKING PRICKS OFF!’
He’s yelling.
‘YER STAY AWAY FROM MY FUCKING DAWNY,
YER BUNCH OF GOGGLE EYED TWATS!’

‘Take it easy, George.’
We’re saying.
‘Take it fucking easy.’
But George isn’t listening.
George has gone fruit loop,
Totally bleeding A.W.O.L.

So Rich slips George an E,
Just drops it into his pint glass,
Like he’s pinching salt
Over a broth.

‘Sup up George you old cunt!’
Rich grins towards the glass.

An hour later,
Georgie boy is off his tits,
All loved up,
Chewing his face off,
Over at the McDonald table.

The lads and me
Relax a little.
Drop a few pills,
Down a few pints,
Eye up the local skirt,
Everything’s sweet with the world
Everything’s f-u-c-k-i-n-g sweet.

Until Dawny walks in
Skirt raised up to her tits
Flashing her dark pussy mound
To any bastard looking.

Sensing blood
A few of the locals
Decide to leave.

Most of them stay.

But old Georgie boy is totally mashed,
He doesn’t even see her
He just keeps jabbering away
Through the silence in the room.

Dawny nods towards Rich and me.
We already know what this means.

‘Same again Rich?’ I say.

‘Same again Anthony.’ he replies.
As we follow Dawny’s perfect round arse
Out through the doors,
Out into the eternal night breeze.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mark Vanner is 28 years old and wakes up most mornings to find he is still in the same city in which he fell asleep. Nottingham. He survives on a strict diet of cheap lager, cigarettes and filthy pot noodles. His poems and stories have appeared in magazines, anthologies and ezines worldwide. Including Thieves Jargon, Laura Hird, Dogmatika, Poetry Monthly, Anchor Books, The Truth Magazine and Zygote In My Coffee. In 2004 his poem ‘It Only Hurts When You Walk Away’ was shortlisted for the Forward Top 100 award.

First published in 3:AM Magazine: Monday, February 5th, 2007.