:: Article

Kicker Girl

By Alan McCormick & Jonny Voss.


Now lookee here, girl, what do you call that mess on the wall?


It’s a scribble, isn’t it? And a scribble don’t belong on the wall, it belongs on paper. Am I right or am I wrong?

Yep, s’pose so.

Right or wrong I asked, girl.


Right, thank you.

Granddad Pete was always shooting off about something and his granddaughter, Sophie, was normally in his firing line. She peered out from her lofty vantage point and endured it all with the cold stare of teenage oblivion.

You doing anything later, girl?


What about playing a sport. Tennis? Table tennis? Football?

Table football?

Don’t get fresh now, Sophie. But table football would be a start, wouldn’t it?


Go on then, here’s a pound. And a smile would be nice.

Sophie managed a smile, pecked her Granddad lightly on the cheek, and slouched off.

You will use the money for a game, won’t you?

Sophie mimed the bent over flick wrist motion of the game as she walked away.

Fat chance thought granddad, but she’d be good if she did play; the girl has the right attitude.


Dogsbodies and Scumsters, a collection of Alan McCormick‘s stories and Jonny Voss‘ illustrations, is available now on Roast Books. See more of their work at Scumsters and Dogsbodies & Scumsters. You can also view an interactive animation by Raimar Oestreich on YouTube based on a Scumster short originally posted on 3:AM in October 2009: ‘Cancer Bob and the YoYo.’

First published in 3:AM Magazine: Friday, December 9th, 2011.