:: Article

Re: Re: Re: Re: HELLO HELLO DEAR LADIES OR MEN:

By Joanna Walsh.

I.
 
Hi, I’m from Russia.
 
a dream to live abroad, my name is Mary,
 
can we get started?
 
You are receiving this email because we wish you to use our digital photo
editing services.
 
We are a China based Imaging Professionals. We offer basic and advanced digital
photo Editing services and solutions like photo Cutout, morphological photo
Editing, photoshop photo Editing, satellite photo Editing, color photo Editing
and vector photo Editing using latest techniques.
 
 
 
II.
 
Dear business customer.

 
There was more money in the business than one knew what to do with.
 
Let all articles be put into one common stock and let them be distributed according to the requirements of each.
 
Please if you are willing to assist me do reply so we can proceed further
 
This offer is strictly for you so please don’t share with anybody else.
 
 
 
III.
 
I had a dream and you were in it, this dream I’ll never forget
 
(The floating where from it a, a.
And singing could her to that I that and. And his weave and for and.
Shadow was the sunny damsel. A was on.
I such a with would sunny all: all flashing a close he drunk.
Midway a pleasure her of symphony deep music. Build some heard should eyes circle your on the.
Voices of heard fountain miracle with an revive delight, loud that those should cry, his round with honey-dew milk. Dome vision an.
The on on, the and of, with once dulcimer mount delight.
Prophesying dome of the mingled, the rare caves.
A Abyssinian mount: ‘twould dome caves. See! Beware! Floating him holy hath.
I she within win, and in of them.
Of war, pleasure, waves, measure, caves, device, ice! Dulcimer saw maid, played Abora. Me song, me long air ice. There beware hair.
 
Thrice dead fed Paradise.)

 
 
 
 
IV.

 
 
Hi there,
 
Just a quick note
 
It pains us to say that window blind and curtain cords are once more the focus of this e-bulletin.
 
My Dear Urgently
 
Our mainly services are:
 
1. Photo Cutout
2. Photo Enhancement
3. Photo Retouching
4. Vector Conversion
5. Pop Art
6. Images Masking
7. Clipping Path
8. Photo Restoration
9. Web Design

 
To follow, without halt, one aim: There’s the secret of success.
 
Join our winners.
 
Why settle for being average?
 
Can we get started?

 
If you want to start. Then come to our site.
 
Your personal link:
 
In California
In Buffalo
In New York City
In Ohio
 
In Mississippi
In ol’ Cheyenne
 
In Colarado
In Georgia by the Sea
 
Do not wait and do not miss this unique opportunity
 
 
 
V.
 
Dear Valued Client,
 
We strongly believe that your account may have been compromised.

 
We appreciate your business. It’s truly our pleasure to serve you to avoid fraudulent activities.
 
we must accept and improve, we will appreciate you very much. We hope we can cooperate happily in the long term.
 
You were outside my house
 
Unfortunately we failed to deliver the postal package

 
Henry David Thoreau (1817 – 1862)
 
 
 
VI.
 
Hey, friend!
 
Attention!
 
Hello dear, do you remember how we communicated with you? Long ago you could not see.
 
(Having trouble viewing this email? Click here)
 
If your marriage is on the verge of breakup.
Spring has finally come! Romance is in the air!
 
Hi – do you remember how we made love in your car?
 
handsome – you were so good in bed with me – I want to again make love to you – no 1 man I had never done so well as you have done – I’ll procure very great pleasure
my body was looking at your pictures just on fire!
 
but it is not beautiful it turns out, met – do you take me with love, we both felt good – and then you left and never came back,
 
You were so hot, let’s talk again.
 
you’re 1 of those people who is right for me — Come to me, kiss!
 
I divorced my husband who wants something that is new!
 
can we get started?
 
(Hi, forgot to tell you that I changed my address and phone number – well, I forgot your email)
 
Hey – why do I stop writing?
 
can we get started?
 
In Shreveport
In Abeline
 
In Albuquerque
In Syracuse
In Tallahassee
In Baton Rouge
 
 
 
VII.

 
HELLO HELLO DEAR LADIES OR MEN:
 
Looking forward to work for you!
 
Lucy, Jeannie, Nellie,
 
Please, replies to my personal email address: for anticipate cooperation. Thanks.
 
(More detailed information about the coming changes in the rules you can find in the appendix to this letter)
 
When you stopped a taxi for me, it was very nice, do not want to see me again?
 
Waiting for an answer – if you like – continue.
 
come in to me.
 
is waiting for you my good!
 
 
Best regards,
Rick
Rickkanuica Imaging Professionals
Contact: contactrick@yeah.net

 
(I dream only of you, very bored, come to me)
 

joannawalsh

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Joanna Walsh writes and draws graphic fiction and non-fiction. She is published by Tate, and also works for The Guardian, The Times, The Idler and The White Review amongst others. She has created large-scale artworks for the Tate Modern and The Wellcome Institute. Her website was a Webby Honoree in 2008. She is an associate member of the London Institute of ‘Pataphysics. This year she will be appearing at the Port Eliot Festival and the Melbourne Writers’ Festival. 

First published in 3:AM Magazine: Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012.