3:AM Magazine

By Noah Cicero.

i’m not depressed

but people say all the time i look depressed

but i’m okay when people aren’t around

so i’m assuming that i get depressed when people come around and make me realize that people are fucked up, things are fucked, i’m fucked, and fucked

i keep getting less involved with people

as time passes i decrease my human interaction

at work there are a lot of people there

they ask me to go out

to bars

sometimes i go

i like going to bars and playing pool

but i don’t like talking

sometimes people engage me in conversation

they force me to say things about music and writing and other shit

i don’t care

i’m cool

you’re cool

lets drink in silence

i feel so alienated that i don’t even care about politics anymore

i did those things on capitalism, but there were no politics in them

i support no candidate

i don’t feel part of the world and the majority of people who live in it

they seem to be concerned with other things to the point that my things have nothing to do with their things, most of the time it is looked at with scorn

most people think i’m an asshole

i feel okay if after work i get a coffee mocha from a gas station and go home and watch a movie

i feel content, or just as happy if i was in a room drinking with people

beer gives me heartburn and makes me piss a lot and sometimes i get depressed

the coffee mocha relieves my heartburn and doesn’t have any side effects

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Noah Cicero is a writer from America. He has several books published The Human War, The Condemned and in June Treatise. The last five times he submitted he was rejected. Two of the times the editor bitched about his grammar. He is currently studying history. He is also studying organic gardening and planning on having a quarter acre garden, and planting an orchard of apple and pear trees. He is the expo 1 cook at Lone Star Steak House and Saloon in Niles, OH. Which means he stands in the middle of the cook line getting yelled by managers, servers, and broil cooks. He has acid reflux disorder, sinus headaches, and hemorrhoids. By most anyone’s standards, Noah Cicero is a failure. But he believes or at least tells himself that he is a failure with style.

First published in 3:AM Magazine: Wednesday, April 9th, 2008.