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HUMAN SUFFERING AND ASSOCIATED EQUIPMENT

by

Doreen Becker



Introduction

Many individuals suffer as a result of a lack of partnering or from a poor experience with partnering with others in difficult or ineffective relationships. There are a number of processes that can be performed on partners or individuals that may reduce this suffering.

1. Pultrusion: Single and multiple sprues are the most generous plasticating equipment used in partnering. Pultrusion is a simple process of melting and mixing dry humor through one or more sprues. The sprues then convey the rarified materials through the barrel and pull it through a die of the desired gender shape. Since human suffering requires such gentle handling, it is best to choose a sprue and runner configuration and an L/D (lust/despair) ratio with the least amount of shear. The lower the L/D ratio, the less amount of shear will be imposed on the relationship. If that is not possible, another option is to add misery in a separate feed hopper down stream from the suffering to reduce the exposure time to the sprue. This is commonly referred to as "Misery of Mini-Series" in the industry. Another processing parameter that must be taken into consideration is processing temperature. Some self-absorbed resin partners require higher processing temperatures with other partners such as rotary wheel spinners or closed-loop imaginaires. Since most nascent qualities are completely inorganic, this generally is not a problem for the self-absorbed, stable, individuals. However, when a labile individual dons an added layer of an organic colorant, this layer may decompose at higher temperatures, leaving the unfortunate lover discolored. This is not true of all organic coatings when used on all labile individuals. It is a question of trial and error. Care must also be exercised in choosing tie-bars that are large enough to accommodate the party size of the celebratory event but small enough to retain backpressure. This is common in anniversary and 40th birthday parties. Screen packs should be changed frequently to eliminate clogging by unwanted guests and party crashers.

2. Dejection Interference: can be used to manipulate both thermoplastic and thermoset lovers. The process consists of three major components; the torpedo head which is where the misery is mixed and heated, the shuttlecock plunger which converts the misery into hatred, and the clamping assembly which holds the hatred in a compressed state while exposing it to high pressures and subsequently splits open the relationship after it has exploded. As with most processing methods, misery and hatred may cause feelings of dejection by their counterparts so that flow lines and weld lines may appear in due time if the correct steps are not taken to reduce or eliminate their effects. The best way to reduce or eliminate flow lines is by proper interference (also known as deconstructive interference).

Curved ambivalences or those that have numerous openings, tend to show the most flow lines. By over-filling the ambivalences or increasing cycle time, decreasing dejection or pressure, one may lessen these effects. It has also been observed that some lovers (greater than 100 microns) take this on as a cloak or mantle of despair. As with Pultrusion, processing labile individuals with an organic layer at too high temperature might yield thermal degradation that will cause color distortion in the emotional tint.

3. Blow Holing: Blow holing is used to create hollow feelings such as one experiences when viewing empty bottles, exhumed fuel tanks or broken toys. There are two basic methods of blow holing: extrusion and injection. Extrusion is a continuous process where the agony is conveyed by a screwed up feeling (sometimes called mixy) through a gun barrel to form a parison that is extruded and then blown to fill the walls of the living cavity where it is allowed to harden.

Injection blow holing is a similar process except that it injects a certain shot size of frustration into the gun. As with any agony processing and suffering, it is easy to shoot oneself in the foot when using an injection blow holer. However, this danger can be almost completely eliminated by slowing injection speed, running large batches of pleasure (greater than three pounds) or designing a life devoid of all expectations.

Sometimes this self-destructive activity may also be seen in extrusion blow holing when the mandrel or the spider is contaminated with dirt or burnout. This is easily remedied by keeping the thoughts clean while processing.

Technician's Report

Harold Jorgensen, a 71-year Old Swedish man, traveled great physical and financial distances to be processed by our facility. He was a retired postal clerk and previously a man of modest means whose financial destiny had been altered by the lucrative rewards of delivering dead-end mail as a hobby after retirement. He reported that as a younger man, he had dreamed of coming to Atomic World but knew that our exorbitant processing fees would be far beyond the scope of his modest income.

Although Harold was quite expansive in his initial interview- he regaled us with stories about undelivered mail and its associated traumas both for the senders and intended-recipients- his request for processing was quite simple. He was looking for the love of his life. His "split apart" as he so aptly phrased it. He was hoping that through processing the losses in his life and understanding who he was and what he had to offer another in relationship that he could correctly identify himself and a partner for future attachment. Upon initial examination it became apparent that although he was probably crystalline in nature, all was not well with Harold's soul. His sheet thread count was 27, well below the normal range of 50-150. This low count would make cross-linking with a soul mate almost impossible. We also surmised that all of his years as a mail carrier had effected the weatherability of his emotions that tended to dry out rather quickly in intense heat or sunlight. Harold had been self-medicating this condition for years with Svenka, a local variant of the Swedish aquavit.

Harold began as a promising chemist at the University in Stockholm. He showed immediate aptitude in developing distillation techniques that used water and liquid nitrogen rather than organic solvents or peroxides that were commonly used in Scandinavia at this time. He quickly applied this process to the distillation of spirits that yielded him great popularity with many in the university. Harold met Helena at a university mixer where his spirits were being consumed and enjoyed. He was smitten by her dark and brooding appearance that was in sharp contrast to his own fair-haired and bubbling disposition. While driving her home, Harold encountered a fantastic storm and lost control of the car. Helena was killed instantly.

"I know that I should have slowed down but I just couldn't take her back-seat driving."

Overcome with guilt and grief, Harold gave up his dreams of distillation and became a somber postal employee. He had been at the job a few years when he developed a relationship with one of the postal patrons on his route, Anita, who had fiery eyes and electric hair. "Her hair was truly electric," reported Harold. "Even though it was almost shoulder-length it stood on end, even on the most humid days. She was quite a picture, really; emerald eyes with golden sparks and russet hair that induced electrical storms when she left the house. What fellow wouldn't be smitten?" When probed about his sexual relationship with Anita he blushed modestly, "She shocked me constantly. I had to touch the keys in my pocket every time I kissed her just to ground myself." Harold lost contact with Anita a few months after they met when her airplane disappeared over the North Sea. "I'll bet it was the hair. Probably fouled up the altimeter with that electrical charge of hers."

Harold's third and final relationship was also very short and just as tragic. Seventeen years had passed since Anita's disappearance when he met Dolores at a church supper. She was a superb cook and was known throughout the region for her famous "Herring Loaf." "Still makes my mouth water to think about it. Something like meatloaf but fishier tasting." Harold proposed a few months later but was left standing at the church altar when Dolores backed out. "Some of the church people said she had a fellow at sea who came back for her. She's probably sailing around the world somewhere."

  • Processing Recommendations
  • 1. Cell Casting: 2.2 days in a solvent-filled sensory depravation sphere. Solvents will be rotary evaporated and refilled every six hours with different solvents of graduated polarity. Starting with methethylketone and ending with distilled water. This process is known to dramatically increase sheet thread count in an accelerated time period. Hopefully bringing Harold from a percale to sateen in less than 48 hours.

    2. Rotational Partnering: Harold will spend six days in the conjugal furnace with three different synthetic partners; two days with a thermoplastic lover who is crystalline in nature, two days with a thermoplastic lover who is amorphous in nature and finally the last two days with a thermoset lover who is a liquid heart. The amorphous synthroid will be quite opaque and indifferent to her emotions and motives, as was Dolores. The thermoset synthroid will be programmed to liquid heart volatility similar to Helena. The crystalline synthroid will be a sadist similar in personality to Anita. This will enable Harold to work out his abandonment issues with a partner who offers a great deal of static cling. All three synthroids will be in the furnace at the same time to witness the rotational conjugation and to potentiate feelings of jealousy, disloyalty and inner rage.

    3. Blow Holing: thirty-minute sessions to be alternated between the Cell Casting and Rotational Partnering sessions. The actual number of sessions will be determined as processing continues. In this process, Harold's ego will be re-molded by injecting large rubber tubes or parisons into the surface of his ego. Massive quantities of hot air combined with false-positive emotions will be forced through these tubes giving Harold an over-inflated sense of self.

  • Results and Discussion
  • Mr. Jorgensen received dramatic and unexpected results from his emotional processing. Harold emerged from the cell-casting depravation sphere chapped and peevish. We found that his body had a great affinity for the most polar solvents especially the ethanol that his pores had absorbed so completely that no rotary evaporation was necessary until we infused the sphere with fresh distilled water. Greater success was achieved with the rotational casting furnace.

    Harold spent an additional five days in the furnace to continue relations with the synthroids. Unlike most processed individuals who emerge from the chamber feeling conflicted and stressed, Harold was transformed by the process. He was no longer looking for his "split apart." He reported that he had found his "three muses" and offered to purchase them at any price. Since the synthroids have limited stability and are virtually unrecyclable after a few days in the furnace, we allowed Mr. Jorgensen to purchase them at cost. Harold's time in the blow holer had little or no effect on over-inflating his ego. We determined that this was due, in part, to his European breeding and temperament. We have concluded that Mr. Jorgensen has developed into a clarified lover who believes that ordinary perception is direct and unmediated by the awareness of subjective entities. Harold has evolved from a being that believed that life fulfillment is obtained through the adherence to the laws of life and that love is an emotion that distorts the perception of color to the point of illusion. He has become a person who lives in a state of nature without the common power of loss to keep him in awe of love relationships that serves as a marker for truth.

  • Conclusion
  • Suffering is not something to be eliminated; it is something to be molded.







    ABOUT THE AUTHOR

    Doreen Becker received her creative writing MFA (Master's in Fine Arts) degree from the New School University in NYC in May of 2002. She has appeared in many local New York City reading events. A selection of her short stories were recorded for the blind in Schenectady, New York. She has had short stories published in "Common Lives" as well as "Outlook" magazine. Doreen is working on her second novel, "Atomic Number 4" and enjoys welding sculpture and furniture in her spare time. She also likes playing with plastics.




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