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Parisianism For Beginners

OCTOBER 4, 2004
"I start explaining what it was I tried to do, then give up when the Editrice asks: 'Are you saying that someone has to have seen Lucia y el sexo to understand your manuscript?' She doesn't see the need for the convoluted, 'jigsaw structure' of the first half, and tells me: 'You're making things needlessly complicated.' Story of my life, I say (to myself)."

NOVEMBER 08, 2003
"I decide to finish with my George Costanza, c'est moi which I've been writing -- on and off, mostly off -- since Summer 2001. It contains every avant-garde conceit going, as well as cameos from the likes of Jean-Luc Godard, sundry Black Panthers, most of my friends, the Virgin Mary... You get the idea. Just the kind of object that pouting PR girls and harried hacks can push onto that unsuspecting sap, Joe Public, as "un OVNI littéraire""

SEPTEMBER 24, 2003
"'And the comediennes, they're…pretty?' The cavernous voice is that of cult writer Jean-Jacques Schuhl, and the phone call his second in five minutes. Clutching my mobile, I examine the actresses and they look at me, having guessed it's him again. After a moment of smiling hesitation, I tell him: 'Yes, they're pretty.' The girls look at me, bemused. 'Okay, thanks.' Schuhl hangs up."

JUNE 28, 2003
"It's a stuffy spring-into-summer Wednesday evening and you're making your way to the Hustler Club, one of several "high-class" strip-parlours just off the Champs-Elysées that's recently opened. It's the kind of place you'd never want to be caught dead in save for those ever-useful 'professional reasons.'"

MAY 14, 2003
"The Syndicat du Hype is an 800-strong list of people encouraged to share, via e-mail, any invites they have to launch parties, vernissages and the like with fellow SDH'ers. The noble aim of the venture, founded by Théolier, could be summarised as 'Champagne for the masses'."

MARCH 26, 2003
"Paris' literati has come out in force for the opening night bash of this annual book-fair, the country's biggest. They're here to share industry gossip and drink champagne. You're here to do, uhm, exactly the same thing."

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