I wake up, you say 'I’m tired'
I get in the bath, you plead 'I’m happy dirty'
I brush my teeth, you say 'I can’t taste my dinnah'
I try to work, you say 'I don’ wanna'
I ‘d like to go for a walk but you’re sitting fast
You say 'Come and sit down, make me some tea'

But I’m already too tired to care for you

We go to town and buy you the coffee
you used to like, that I still like you to drink

Later we’ll see the people that make you cry
that I still want to see.

Sometimes you open your eyes wide and are surprised
you’re not crying

You whisper to me you want to be with that girl
but I’m you’re father and mother now

We go to get food in the supermarket
I buy the stuff you point to

In the street the light makes me squint and sweat
but in it you’re already beginning to uncurl

feeling sick and semi-happy, we trudge through sunlight

But very soon in the day you want to go home

You crane behind you to look at the people who pass

In the room, you want to take the curtain from the glass
but I need the dark

I tell you there’s nothing behind it but windows and roofs.
You look away

You think the dark means sleep but it’s not time yet

There’s something you’re always tugging at my heart for
so I light a cigarette

Your hand slips then tightens around me like a net

I think of lullabies for you, put on tunes

Evening, you ask What did you do, What are you going to do
When will it end and When will it get better

I open a bottle and tell you - Tomorrer, tomorrer
and that shushes you at twilight when the shadows emerge

and you go to sleep without crying, without horror thinking
Tomorrow, Tomorrow it’s going to be fine

as the floodlights come on in the courtyard

I sit up watching you, sipping, puffing, sipping
in the blinding glare coming straight through the windows

and when I try to go to sleep, you turn and bury yourself in me
and I curl up around you and it hurts, but I try to love you

wondering, What am I doing here?
Is it going to be alright?, It’s going to be alright isn’t it?

it feels strangely like you’re killing me