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WHO NEEDS HEROIN

by

Erin Bealmear


i just turn on the television
when I'm afraid of life
i watch television
in the blue light
in decline

the dealers in the box
push junk
the child crying in the rain
prays loudly

into my heart
he's crying in between lines
in a state
of Disney beauty,
vacant eyes
that eat away my brain
when I'm afraid of life
i see the dealers smiling
promising
to wash out the static
with oil and vinegar potato chips
hurricanes
and french schoolgirls dancing disco
in living color
i'm sold
what I don't need
in a beautiful hell        no one asks to be saved
you can't look away
and fuck, if you can
i don't want to hear about it
bastards
i squirm in my seat
  knowing I should be cleaning my windows
    with scented water
      changing my oil
        paying the bills
          feeding the hungry
            raising the dead
but no it never happens
when        I'm afraid of life
i watch the light and shadow
the haircuts     the emotions     the je ne sais quoi
people
seem so lifelike
at the time     at the end

junk is like a carnival sideshow
and i never turn from it

who needs heroin
i just turn on the television
the needleful of poison
leaves couch traces on my cheek

junk makes me believe
that Rita Hayworth saved my life
during WWII
with a hypnotist's pocketwatch

who needs Heroin
i just turn on the television
this is not a crime
relaxing in quicksand
and loving you television
          television
                    television






ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Erin Bealmear's poetry has been published in Exquisite Corpse, CrossConnect, Pif, Kiosk, Potpourri, Black Bear Review, 2River View, and W.I.G. (Women in General).








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