You know that expression; "you can't bullshit a bullshitter"? Well, I
invented it. It's important that you realize that, I just don't have time
for you to learn it on your own. I am 25 years old and I do good. I've been
making six figures since college and I've done it all with smoke and
mirrors. I've done it without expertise in any particular field and without
familiarity of any body of knowledge. My success is directly attributable
to the fact that I scream louder than the guy telling me "no" and I always,
always get the last word. I realize this is abrupt, but time is the one
luxury I do not have an abundance of at this point.
I fucked up. I really did. I blew the biggest account we had. So stupid, I
got into a screaming match with their CEO after a few too many manhattans.
The problem being he was drinking club soda while I drank enough booze for
both of us. Now I've got to answer for what I've done. There is no doubt in
my mind that I'm finished. My boss, that conniving, ass-kissing little
prick is going to ax me.
That was Friday, today is Saturday. I woke up with a screaming hangover but
it'll have to wait. I've got work to do. There is no way I'm going to let
this very comfortable life that I stole fall apart around me, not without a
fight. There would be casualties; there will be blood. I just don't quite
know how, yet.
I got up early which is fairly normal for me when I've had too much to
drink. I took a huge piss and brushed my teeth, fighting back the pounding
between my temples and the empty queasiness in my stomach. Unfortunately, I
never black out; I had complete recollection of last night's train wreck.
He had told me that our relationship was terminated effective immediately
and that I clearly lacked the professionalism to carry out his objectives.
He didn't have faith in me or the direction that my company was moving.
What was intended to be a friendly client dinner quickly regressed into
damage control and then an outright drag 'em out no holds barred barroom
In my defense, it was bad from the word "go". He was pissed when I met him
at the restaurant and I only started drinking when I realized we were going
to have a problem. He had been right, to a point. They had placed a
multi-million dollar order and we were lagging on the delivery. This wasn't
the first time there had been problems either. My boss was aware of this,
which is why he sent me out to meet him. My job was to smooth things over.
My title is Director of Client Relations; it should be "shmoozer". My job
was to conduct the behind the scenes negotiations, you know, get them drunk
and laid and most importantly, sign on the dotted line.
Anyway, the argument quickly escalated beyond work issues and I suspected
that this was the real motive behind our corporate breakup. The lack of
professionalism that he had referred to on my part stemmed from a recent
incident involving his secretary. Like I said, we had signed a
multi-million dollar deal and the negotiations had been tedious. Many long
nights were spent at his office, our office and the various fine dining
establishments and drinking facilities around the city.
To make a long story short, I slept with his secretary. She was a sexy
little thing and casual flirting eventually evolved into charming
conversation laced with innuendo. We met for drinks well after work had
been completed one night and one thing led to another.
Now I may be young, but I know this business pretty well. I'll sum it up
for you really quickly, just so you know.
It's all about friends.
Enemies are bad in this business; the only way to succeed is to make the
people who don't like you change their mind. Friends introduce you to
prospects, friends get you out of trouble and friends watch your