I turned off the car stereo, eyes wide with thrill, pulling up next to the
beer truck. The Southern California Westlake Village Mountains were plastered
with Spanish tile roofs, wealthy doctors, sitting at poolside. The tanner
then tan blonde beauty's cruising the boulevard, in cars more expensive then
I'll earn in a lifetime. The attitudes, the money, and endless opportunities.
The Pacific Ocean winds, just over the Malibu curvy canyon roads. The sun
shined down on my rusted lemon of a car, with a muffler louder then a. 7.0
earthquake. I wanted free beer, and so did my passenger and fellow hoodlum,
This wasn't the first time we robbed a beer truck, but this time, we were
going for a big score. We had scoped out this truck driver's route for about
a week. We knew all his stops, and how long he would spend carting in the
cases of beer to liquor shops. The driver was sweet on a 7 11 store cashier,
who would never sell to us, cause of the under age laws. We were little punks
with a gut wrenching thirst for beer, and would go to any lengths to get it,
even if that meant a felony.
The beer truck driver would always stay in the 7 11 store longer then he
should, talking to her, trying to bust the moves on the cashier. Just enough
time for Jimmy and me to grab as many cases as we could in a five-minute
I took the last drag off my cigarette, staring into the golden mountains,
nestled in another suburbia. I flicked my smoke out on the hot pavement with
a cooler then cool look. Jimmy put on his ski mask.
"Let's do it, fucker," he said, taking a deep breath.
"Free beer," I responded, pulling my ski mask around my sunburned face.
We hopped out of the lemon, like men from mission impossible. I quickly
slapped a large piece of duct tape over my license plate, and the plan went
into full speed. Jimmy already had the side sliding door of the beer truck
open, and was running back to my car, with 6 cases in hand. I grabbed 4
cases - I wasn't as strong as Jimmy physically.
When I went back for my second helping, something went terribly wrong. I was
running back to my car, when I heard the words, "Hey, you there, stop, you
I tripped over my own feet, and did a tumbling face plant. The four cases of
malty treats took a flying slow motion dive into the cement.
"Shit, lets go dude, hurry up!" Jimmy yelled, helping me get up, as the beer
truck driver was sprinting towards us. I jumped in the car, which we'd kept running. Jimmy suddenly froze; he just stood there, waiting for the beer truck
"What the hell are you doing, lets go you fool!"
The beer man had reached Jimmy now.
"What the fuck do you think you're…"
Pop! Jimmy knocked the fucker out with one punch.
We high tailed it outa there with the California sun shining down on the
sixteen cases of beer we had managed to grab.
"Why'd you punch him dude, oh shit, were gonna get busted!"
"I had to punch him, he left me no choice."
"Shit, I think that fucking car behind us saw what happened. I think they
are following us," I said, in a panicky voice.
"You're being paranoid, anyway, you got the duck tape on the license
Just as Jimmy said that, I noticed in my rear view mirror a piece of duck
tape flying in the air, behind my speeding car.
The guy behind me was gaining speed, tailgating my bumper, flashing his
"People just never learn, do they? Slam on your brakes!" Jimmy yelled.
"Just do it!"
I hit the brakes hard, and the car chasing us slammed in to the back of my
"Shit! now what?"
"Wait here," Jimmy said, stepping out of the car like nothing had happened.
"What the fuck are you doing now!" I yelled.
Jimmy had both his fists clenched. He started walking over to the car.
We both still had our ski masks on. It was some old fart in a Mercedes. The
old fella looked like he had smacked his head pretty good from hitting my
bumper. He must have been trying to do his part as a good citizen, trying to
stop us from having fun. People really need to mind their own business. The
old fella must have had some smarts, as he punched it into reverse, with his
wheels burning rubber on the pavement, smoke filling the air, just as Jimmy
was about to do a fisted tap dance on his face.
Jimmy hopped back into my lemon, and we headed for the hills of Decker
canyon. I kept complaining about how fucked up things went, as I weaved
through the curvy canyon road.
"Would you just shut the fuck up, before I smack you in the face, take your
car, and all the beer."
"Is that your solution to everything? Just punch someone in the face when
anything doesn't go your way?"
"Look dumb shit, I know things went fucked up, but there's no point in
whining about it now. We got the beer, didn't we?"
"I guess," I said, cracking open a warm beer.
"Who ever said crime doesn't pay?" Jimmy said, laughing.
Jimmy had already guzzled down four beers, in about a 15 minute period. I
pulled off on a dirt road we had found earlier. I parked my car at the end of
a cliff. We made the long hike up into the mountains, carrying as many cases
as we could. We wanted a good hiding spot for our hard-earned beer. Sweat was
dripping off my brow, as my arms strained with pain, lugging the cases up the
steep mountain to our secret hide away.
We left about 4 cases in my car, and decided to go pick up these fine looking
party girls we knew. Rebecca and Lucy were extremely pleased with the beer
score. They were all giddy and giggly, with bubbly love eyes. We didn't tell
them all the details about how we got it. But they were bright girls and
didn't ask too many questions. We headed to Zuma beach for some beer guzzling.
I felt righteous, as the ocean water splashed on to the sand, and the
seagulls hovered over, squawking with gracefulness. I slugged a warm Corona,
staring off into the vast ocean, digging my toes into the warm sand, sun
shining down on my grinning squint. Jimmy's laughter echoed in my ears, as he
walked down the beach, holding Rebecca's hand.
Lucy's warm body snuggled up against me. She nibbled on my ear,
whispering in a sexy voice how horny she was. Her light blue eyes were
magical rays of love dipped lust, which seemed to shoot lasers of contentment
in to my soul. I smiled at my euphoric surroundings, realizing this moment
wouldn't last forever.
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