Fiction and Poetry 3am Magazine Contact Links Submission Guidelines
Literature
Arts
Politics
Nonfiction
Music
How to Survive Nuclear Attack
Useful tips for surviving nuclear attack, dirty bombs, or suitcase nukes.

 
   
 
  American Hiroshima
Tsunami
Earthquake
Tornado
Hurricane
School Shooting
Volcano
Asteroid
Nuclear Winter
Bird Flu - Avian Influenza
Nuclear Attack
Honeybee Extinction
Wildfire
The Last Days

 


Computer: The time is eight fifty-nine and fifty seconds.

Kenner: Hey, whoa! Wait! Not so fast. You can't! Oh, God. God-god-god! Oh... oh, yes! I can't believe it! You actually did it! And I'm still breathing!

Buddy: I told you I knew what I was doing. And you're clean, right?

Kenner: Ri--oh! Ah! Oh! Oh! Jesus! I'm! I'm clean! I swear! Oh, ah, oh, ah, ughn!

"Hilary, cut out the audio and don't transcribe anything that isn't a word from your available lexicon."

"What are you doing, Gina?"

"Do you really want to hear that little shit over there oohing and ahhing, screaming, 'Fuck me, daddy!' over and over?"

"Well..."

"Trust me, it's not worth the price of admission."

"Admission?"

"It's funny, doll."

"Oh." Celeste wiped her hands with a damp towel and folded it neatly, keeping it near the vidscreen. "It's all cleaned up. Want me to put the rest of this stuff in the fridge?"

"Would you mind, doll? Mother appreciates you you know!"

"I appreciate mother too." Celeste smiled and touched Regina's cheek with her hand.

"Before you go, suck mother's tit. The left one." Celeste did just that.

Later...

"Okay, doll, here comes the good stuff. They're done with their whoopie. Now comes the pillow talk. Hilary, resume audio."

Buddy: That was good. You can come back tomorrow. Same time.

Kenner: But I can't move.

Buddy: But you have to. And you are clean! That's good. I'm very proud of my little inventions. Come on, get up--

Kenner: Oww!

Buddy: Don't like it rough?

Kenner: What you just did to me wasn't rough?

Buddy: That was tenderness. Tomorrow, I'll show you rough.

Kenner: I can't wait.

Buddy: Now get up and come over here.

Kenner: Can I stand up for a while?

Buddy: Actually, no. You're going to be sitting down for a while. But I think you'll like this.

Kenner: What's that? A dishwasher, right?

Buddy: It is. I modified it though. It's also got a sterilizing unit, has two microwave functions and a couple of other surprises, like spearmint sprays and benzocaine fogs.

Kenner: Benzocaine? Isn't that an old-fashioned topical--

Buddy: Pain killer... right.

[marking... marking... mar-]

Kenner: What?

Buddy: Go on, open it.

Kenner: It's a dildo with lights and straps.

Buddy: Guess where I got the model for it.

Kenner: It does look kind of familiar, now that you mention it.

Buddy: It's going to feel familiar too.

Kenner: What do you mean? No! Really?
Previous Page   Next Page

Next Page




home | buzzwords
fiction and poetry | literature | arts | politica | music | nonfiction
links | offers | contact | guidelines | advertise | webmasters
Copyright © 2005, 3 AM Magazine. All Rights Reserved.