Something isn’t right about this nightclub. For one thing, I’ve never heard of it, and I consider myself up to date on what’s happening around town. For another thing, it’s in the same location as - I swear on my mom - an upscale women’s clothing store that I passed by only a few short hours ago. Yeah, so I’m probably buzzing tough right now after all the drinks me and my friends put down over the evening, but I still know this town and I know that this club shouldn’t be as popping as it is, especially since I’ve never heard of it.

I’ve never heard of this club. It’s going off. God damn. These women are hot. Oh, she’s got to be a model. So does she. Hell, yeah. This is at least a five to one ratio. Where are my boys at? They’ve got to see this. How come I’m at the most popping club and I’m all alone and all my boys are still at the other club? Those fools know we’re supposed to be club hoppin’. So how come I’m the only one that’s here?

"Excuse me, bartender!" I say now. "I’ll have what she’s having!...One dollar?... You've got to be shittin’ me!"

This is crazy. I’m at the most popping club and the drinks are only a dollar. And there’s five girls to every guy. At least. Where are my boys at? This has got to be the mother of all clubs. Studio 54 wasn’t nothing compared to this. Where are the filmmakers? This is movie material.

No way. That’s Brad Pitt. Wait - hold on a second. Nope - just looks like him. Damn, I've got some competition tonight.

"Hey...yeah, you! I know you...wait a second - you’re that girl off of- what’s that one show?...Yeah, that one!...You’re not?... You sure look like her...Can I buy you a drink?"



My boys are gonna kill me. Here I am kicking it at the mother of all clubs with more women than dudes and drinks are only a buck, and I haven’t left to tell them about it. But how could someone leave? They've gotta understand. I’d call them on my cell, but I must have dropped it when that fat-ass bouncer tossed me out of the club. I didn’t do anything. Fuck them bouncers anyway. Actually, they did me a favor. If they hadn’t tossed me out I might never have found this club. This music is so smooth. I’ve never heard anyone mix like this d.j. And these drinks are stiff. Oh - and that girl. That girl that looked like that girl off that one show. She can dance. She showed me a thing or two, and I can move.

Where are my boys at?

"Excuse me?"

Whooh. This girl's gorgeous. "I’m sorry, go ‘head."

"Don’t you want to talk to me?"

What did she just say? "Yeah, I want to talk to you!...You’re talking to me, right?"

"What do you think?" Her eyes sparkle.

Yeah, you’re talking to me. "I’m sorry...I just thought...it doesn’t matter... Can I buy you a drink?"

"Why? You don’t have to. Go to the VIP room, they’re free."

"Where do you get a pass?"

"Dummy, you have one." Her eyes sparkle.

"What? Where?"

"On your wrist. You got it when you came through the door."

No I didn’t. No I didn’t. Where did this VIP pass come from? Wait - hold on. Don’t look dumb. This girl’s gorgeous. And she want’s me to go to the VIP room with her. "What’s this club called anyway?"

"When the Lights Go Out."

"Really? That's a long name for a club. How come I’ve never heard of it?"

"It’s not open to everyone."

So that’s it. I’m kicking it at a private club. But how come they let me in? They fucked up. I'm not saying anything, though. Wait till my boys here about this. They’re gonna shit their pants. Beautiful women, one dollar drinks, VIP room. And everyone’s cool. I could do this all night.

What time is it?...What the hell?...What’s up with my watch?...Man, I just bought this thing. I must have hit it when the bouncers tossed me.

"Who cares what time it is?" Her eyes sparkle.

"I’m just wondering when this place closes."

"Don’t worry about it. We’ve got passes to stay all night."

She’s right. What am I doing anyway? I’m a little buzzed. I need to think straight. Okay - I've got a gorgeous girl here that wants to kick it. That’s all that matters.

"Where’s this VIP room at?"

"It’s back here." Her eyes sparkle.

Well, what do you know. A nightclub could learn some lessons from this place. Instead of an E-X-I-T sign, they made it say V-I-P-S. I need to get one of those signs for my pad. Flourescent green looks cool.

"How ya’ doing, man?...Yeah, I got a pass."
      


My boys are not gonna believe me. I’m in the VIP room of a popping club, that they’ve never heard of, there’s more women than dudes, and even more women than dudes in the VIP room. Not a Hater in the club. And this place is all about style. This girl I'm getting with is dressed impeccably guci from head to toe, fully accesorised. Which makes me think that all of these women must have similar taste. What’s the name of this club again? Oh, yeah. I am definitely coming back, private club or not.

"Who’s that high roller on the couch with all the women? Is that the owner?"

"Yeah. He’s a friend of mine. These are all friends of mine." Her eyes sparkle. "Let’s get another drink."

You are music to my ears.



If I’m smart, I’ll meet the owner. This has to be a private club. I’ll just tell him that I walked in and didn’t realize it. Only if he asks. Before we meet, I should sober up a little bit so I can make a good impression. But I can’t be that buzzed, though. I’m talking to this girl, aren’t I? She seems sober. I must not be that buzzed.

"Can you introduce me to him?"

"Are you sure you want to meet him?" Her eyes sparkle.

"Yeah, definitely."

Something isn’t right about this nightclub. Why did I leave my boys behind? The lights are all but out and I’m all alone in the back of an upscale women’s clothing store.

I’m shaking hands with a mannequin.

The drink in my left hand falls to the ground and shatters. I stagger back and reach for the girl.

But she’s a mannequin too.

They’re all mannequins.