:: Buzzwords

Dear 3:AM Magazine

dear3am

I love you. Your progressive broadening of the term “magazine” in your url serves to only strengthen my overall appreciation of all you do for the world of marginalized books. If you and I could afford a secluded island on which to live out our remaining days, we would instead use the money for state fair tickets and beer (we’d go crazy with only each other; you know that). The truth is, and you’ve long known this, you are more than a magazine. You are a powerful hub around which lit gluttons like me congregate to discover who deserves our love and who needs to try harder.

For a long time I was trapped in a once-fruitful/now-fetid relationship with other lit news outlets, which I will call The Force-Feeders. For a while, The Force-Feeders and I enjoyed a contented symbiotic relationship, wherein I benefited by reading about authors and books that I was supposed to love, and The Force-Feeders benefited by using my clicks to increase their advertising revenue. We loved each other. Or so I thought.

In fact, The Force-Feeders didn’t care about me at all. They concerned themselves with inflating the egos of the already-popular. Their names, their referents, and their subjects were the names, referents, and subjects of so many others already. We lived as a couple amid an orgy of others. I was just another set of eyes and fingers to them.

But 3:AM, you courted me, made me feel I was the only index finger and the only eyeballs in your life. First with the fiction. You were doing things that I wasn’t sure could (and that the time, should) be done. I now realize, of course, that others were posting short, often-experimental, and visceral fiction too. So what kept me here? The overall commentary on marginalized writers and books that 92% of the time meshed with my own aesthetics. You were, and are, my online 92%-kindred. Of course, no healthy relationship is exclusive. I still dabble with others. I experiment on the side, offering a few hits to mistresses like Orange Alert and HTMLGIANT (if you are reading this girls, you know you’re the only ones for me 😉 ) And of course I’ve got to smooth-talk Does This Font Make Me Look Fat? and my good ol’ girl Outsider Writers Collective when I’m needing some stability. But they mean nothing to me, babe. Honestly (you mean everything to me DTFMMLF and OWC…I’ll call you later).

So where does that leave us? Where is the relationship headed? Nowhere. And I love you for that. Keep being you.

Virtually yours,

Caleb.

First posted: Wednesday, January 13th, 2010.

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