\n The blue couch had passed through two previous owners. Unbeknownst to Eve, it had been urinated and vomited on. It had seen the walls of a splendid house in Pine Crest and a humbled studio in Coral Gables. Its last place of residence was at a garage sale where Eve and a friend bought it to give her apartment a sense of \u201cnormality”; a quality that Eve thought it greatly lacked. Once the couch was brought home, a disturbing smell began to emanate from underneath. It was a mixed smell of urine, vomit, and Spring Time deodorizer. Eve concluded that someone had obviously tried to iodize the odor but only made it worse. A furniture cleaner was called immediately on suspicion of its questionable past and upon Eve’s hesitation that she could not bear to part with such a \u201clovely piece” that could add dimensions to her immediate
\nenvironment.<\/p>\n
The couch brought with it Tony the furniture cleaner. Tony was the younger cousin of Luis Capote. Luis Capote was part owner of one the hippest clubs in South Beach, the Glamorama Night Club. Eve recognized Tony; she was familiar with his flamboyant style first hand at parties. And once, she was briefly introduced to Luis at an event. Later on a friend, who’s a native, told her the story of the cousins.<\/p>\n
Tony was Cuban and looked like Steven Bauer from Scar Face<\/em>. He wore a yellow furniture cleaners’ uniform. Eve noticed a wedding band on the ring finger of his left hand. He flirted with Eve as if walking at the edge of a pool with no intent of jumping in. As a result of Tony’s expertise in furniture cleaning, the blue couch’s current state is \u201ccute”, \u201ctired”, and misleading. It was meant to be a recliner but a last minute decision at the factory changed it to a love seat. Nevertheless, the putrid smell is still there, deep down, below the cushions right next to the manufacturer’s tag that reads \u201crecliner” in black, boldfaced letters.<\/p>\n As Eve became enthralled with double Jeopardy<\/em>, a loud rap at the door broke her concentration. She stood up, rushed towards the door and without looking through the peephole or asking whom it was, she opened it. It was her best friend Lisa.<\/p>\n Eve met Lisa in Cancun during Spring break. Lisa was returning from the restroom back to the dance floor at four in the morning. She was drunk and tripped over a couple making love on the floor. She would have remained on the gutter but Eve gave her a hand, taking her away from the red strobe lights of the cantina to look at the stars in the terrace. As Eve stood up and briskly disappeared into the bathroom Lisa went to the bedroom. Lisa was intent on finding the perfect outfit. She was well aware that Eve didn’t have much of a selection. It was either the Dinnigan dress she bought a few weeks back or the She slid open the closet door, picked out the two dresses, and set them down on a mattress that was on the floor. She then began searching for shoes quickly rejecting many choices with a \u201cNo, Nope, Na” and announcing satisfaction with a \u201cDisco!” or \u201cPerhaps, Perhaps\u2026” Lisa took a step back, once more, rating the remaining shoes with a serious pondering stare that might be mistaken for a life or death decision or perhaps, even, a brilliant mind pondering a quick theory. In the end she went with the black strappies and if they didn’t connect she could always come back.<\/p>\n In the living room Lisa placed the chosen outfits on the couch gently, careful not to crease the fabric. She sat next to them, turned on the television, and switched channels for almost a minute until coming upon a beauty pageant. She watched the women in the pageant with a condescending smile. After seeing most of the swimsuit competition she took off her shoes followed by her socks and gazed at her bare feet. Each foot had five toes with respectable length and width. Her toe- nails were nicely trimmed with well proportioned toes. She wiggled her toes as she beheld her feet. During commercials she put her socks back on.<\/p>\n The shower stopped and Eve, in a blue robe, walked to the living room taking the chair to the \u201cThis right here,” she said, holding it up. \u201cI love this. This is a Colette Dinnigan piece like I \u201cWhat are you talking about, it’s too flashy?” When Eve was all made up, and the right shoes were picked, (black heels) and her hair sprayed and styled in the best possible way, and every avenue was exhausted including nails and fragrance, in accordance with the ritual a modern girl follows to make herself look proper for public consumption on Ocean Drive, the two best friends, relieved they had finished ahead of time, sat on the blue couch waiting for the call that would green light the evening. Exactly thirty-six minutes later Lisa and Eve sat next to each other on the blue couch. There were five cigarette butts in the ashtray by their feet. Eve wore the black wool dress. \nBy Fawzy Zablah<\/b>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":119,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/119"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n \u201cYou’re very cute. I like your eyes.”
\n \u201cThank you.”
\n He mentioned his cousin Luis, who sounded single, and his failing flings.
\n \u201cHe is searching for something meaningful. You know, with meaning. But unfortunately for him most of the women in Miami are only interested in money and the bling bling. You seem like a nice girl. But you know what I mean?”
\n Tony winked. Eve smiled. That was the first time anyone had ever winked at her. She had been single for some time. A blind date with Luis was arranged and numbers were exchanged. Eve called her best friend Lisa at work.
\n \u201cYou are not going to believe this. I have a blind date with Luis Capote on Saturday!”
\n \u201cI know that name. Doesn’t he own a club on the beach?”
\nAt the same time Tony was making a call on a cellular to his cousin.
\n \u201cYou are not gonna believe the piece of ass I just got you for Saturday night. The things I would do to this girl. That ass is so round. It’s like a nice red apple. I’d-\u201c
\n \u201cYou’re a trip. Is she a hoe?”
\n \u201cShe is definitely a hoe\u2026”<\/p>\n
\n \u201cLook at you. You’re a mess! You have a date in three hours and you look like you just woke up!”
\n \u201cI just did,” Eve replied.
\n \u201cDo you even know what time it is? It’s almost a quarter to seven,” Lisa said, walking towards the couch.
\n \u201cI know, I lost track of time.”
\n \u201cOh my God, Eve! Look at your hair!” she said, sitting down on the couch.
\n \u201cCould you stop, please?” Eve said, closing the door.
\n Once Eve sat next to her, Lisa grabbed her hands and placed them on her lap. \u201cListen to me,” Lisa said.
\n\u201cI’m your best friend. I care about you and your future. I just want you to be happy. I will help you help yourself. I will make you look better than any of those skanks he has ever had. We will get this guy Eve. You will get him.”
\n Eve looked at her. \u201cWe have a lot of issues don’t we?”
\n \u201cOnly you my dear.”
\n \u201cYou bitch.”
\n\u201cOh my God! You are so bad. Slut!”
\n They laughed a loud girlish laugh that multiplied when Lisa unintentionally made a snorting sound and covered her mouth with both hands. When the laughs died down and the evening settled, they sat without words between them but a quiet understanding. Then after a few minutes, Lisa broke off and began the theater that is a girl getting ready for a date. They agreed that while Lisa picked out the possible ensemble, Eve would shower.<\/p>\n
\nblack funnel neck dress with cap sleeves.<\/p>\n
\nright of the couch. She dried her hair with a blue towel. She used the same towel to dry her feet. After drying her feet she looked at her hands, spreading her fingers apart, smiling at Lisa.
\n\u201cThe jig is up my love.”
\n\u201cYou are such a pessimist. You always were. Such a lovely pessimist ever since I met you in Cancun laughing and performing your naivete’ act on anyone who’d listen. In a way I think I’m the one that saved you.”
\n \u201cThat’s what you think. Maybe we just saved ourselves,” replied Eve, putting a cigarette in her mouth and lighting it.
\n Lisa rested her chin on the arm of the couch. \u201cI never drank so much in my life.”
\n \u201cLiar. You were such a slut that night,” Eve said, and blew smoke in her direction.
\n \u201cI swear on my mother’s grave.”
\n \u201cYour mother isn’t dead.”
\n \u201cI meant my grandmother.”
\n \u201cWhatever. You’re still a hoochie.”
\n \u201cAnd you’re a wanna-be hoochie.”
\n \u201cThat’s not what the doctors say.”
\n \u201cCome on. Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”
\n Lisa stood up, picked up a dress, and held it from the hanger at a distance. She narrowed it down to two choices: a black funnel neck dress and a d’esprit outfit. And the way she described the latter one would think she was announcing a fashion show.<\/p>\n
\ntold you in the store, a point d’esprit skirt with shirt over cotton camisole. You like? I think it’s perfect.”
\n \u201cIt’s too flashy,” Eve said, holding the cigarette between the index and middle fingers. Her hand was back, twisted, in that gay egoist manner in which most women hold their cigarettes. She held it almost right but her fingers were too thick.<\/p>\n
\n \u201cIt’s too; I don’t know. It’s just a little too much for tonight. I need something conservative and sexy. I want something that hugs my skin and is not about the dress so much as the person who’s wearing it. You know?”
\n \u201cConservative and sexy? What the hell are you talking about?”
\n \u201cI want the black dress,” Eve said, pointing to it.
\n \u201cThat’s all you had to say. Don’t be trying to make life more complicated.”
\n Eve disrobed, picked up the black dress, smiled and left the living room. When she came back wearing the dress, she stood in front of Lisa modeling it. She remained in the same spot feeling the dress along her body. The skirt of the dress was very short and she tried, in a failed attempt, to lower it.
\n \u201cWhat are you doing?”
\n \u201cIt’s really short.”
\n \u201cBut, of course. What did you expect?”
\n Eve was still trying to lower it. \u201cIt wasn’t this short when I tried it at the store.”
\n \u201cEve, please don’t act like you didn’t notice, cause honey, I was there.”
\n \u201cDoes it look alright now?” Eve said.
\n \u201cI think you’re right. This might be better for tonight.”
\n \u201cNot too slutty, right? Because one of my main concerns is comfort.”
\n \u201cThat neck and those short sleeves, you’re a ten, sweetie.”
\n One hour came and went. Eve, in her blue robe, stood in front of a tall mirror applying, or trying to apply makeup. She became impatient at her attempts.
\n \u201cIt becomes this mission sometimes.”
\n \u201cYou need help?” Lisa said, flipping through an issue of Vogue<\/em> magazine.
\n Eve walked towards the couch. \u201cYou think this eyeliner looks good?”
\n Lisa sat up, put the magazine down and looked at the eyeliner. \u201cLet me put it on. I love putting makeup on other people.”
\n \u201cOkay, but don’t experiment on my face.”
\n Eve sat on the couch. Lisa sat next to her applying the makeup.
\n \u201cI’ve never really seen this guy,” Lisa began.
\n\u201cWhat does he look like again?”
\n \u201cHe’s very cute, very Cuban. Brown eyes, dark hair-\u201c
\n \u201cAre you sure I’ve seen him?”
\n \u201cDon’t you remember, Marisa’s party? The second week we were here? He wore a sleeveless Versace outfit. You kept asking me what I was staring at.”
\n Lisa carefully concentrated on one eye, \u201cDon’t move,” she said. \u201cI think I remember now. Did he drive the black Porsche?”
\n \u201cNo, he drove the yellow Ferrari.”
\n \u201cOh yeah. That guy. He was cute. He was wearing a $50,000 Rolex.”
\n \u201cHe had a Rolex?”
\n Lisa paused to pick up the blush. \u201cHe shook someone’s hand right in front of me as I mingled. I
\ncouldn’t help but notice.”
\n \u201cRight,” Eve said.
\n \u201cDon’t move. I’m almost done.”<\/p>\n
\n \u201cYou know what?” Lisa said, picking at her ponytail, looking quiet demure. \u201cLet’s not talk about
\nhim. We might jinx it. Know what I mean?”
\n \u201cYou’re right. Let’s change the topic.”
\n Eve stood up, stretched and went to the kitchen.
\nShe came back with a bottle of Merlot in her right hand and two wine glasses crisscrossed in her left. She handed one glass to Lisa and served her and then herself. Eve sipped the wine and placed the bottle on the floor by her feet.
\n \u201cThank you,” Lisa said. \u201cYou are not gonna believe what happened to me yesterday!”
\n \u201cWhat happened? Tell me.”
\n \u201cI ran into Rhonda. You know, Rhonda Void?”
\n \u201cOh my God! He’s such a trip!”
\n \u201cYou wouldn’t believe how much of a fucking trip.”
\n \u201cSo, tell me,” Eve said.
\n \u201cI had just bought the Shadow Lounge mix from that little record store on Washington. You know? Next to the Sushi restaurant.”
\n \u201cUncle Sam’s.”
\n \u201cYeah, Uncle Sam’s. So anyway, I’m on my way to get some pizza. And I see Rhonda, all seven feet of him, in a purple miniskirt, in broad daylight. Does he have the balls or what?”
\n \u201cTell me about it. I’ve never seen him without drag. For real!”
\n \u201cRight, anyway, we start talking. My little ponytail and me. Him and his red bouffant hairdo looking like Ricky Lake in Hair Spray.”
\n \u201cOh please! Have you ever seen him in his blond wig? Hilarious! I heard the only way to get him out of a dress is if you agree to fuck him.”
\n \u201cAnyway, so we were talking about you actually,” Lisa said, taking a long sip.
\n \u201cOh really?”
\n \u201cYeah, but I’m getting to that. So we’re having a pleasant conversation and everything is cool-\u201c
\n \u201cWant any more wine?”
\n \u201cNo, I’m fine,” Lisa said, putting her glass down. \u201cOkay, then some guy; a friend of Rhonda, comes into the conversation. One of those YMCA queers with the hard bodies we always see at the gym.” Lisa made a limp wrist and the best queer impression she could muster and continued. \u201cGetting very snippy at Rhonda; copping an attitude about something or other. Then they start cussing each other out. It’s all very ghetto.”
\n \u201cWhat were they fighting about?” Eve said, while pouring herself some more wine.
\n \u201cI forget. I think about a girl or something.”
\n \u201cA girl?”
\n \u201cBut anyway,” she paused for a sip and continued.
\n\u201cSo they’re like arguing in the street and it’s starting to become this scene. It’s not really a scene yet but it’s getting there. And then the guy says, \u2018Who the fuck do you think you are?’ And Rhonda goes insane and pulls a gun out!”
\n \u201cHe what?”
\n \u201cI’m not kidding, he pulled a gun out!”
\n \u201cWas it real? Maybe it was fake.”
\n \u201cLet me tell you, that shit looked real! I froze. I totally froze. I mean I have never seen a gun up close. But that looked real. So Rhonda is like \u2018What did you say?’ And the guy is like, \u2018What the fuck is that?’ and Rhonda says, \u2018This is a gun mother fucker’ She points it-\u201c
\n \u201cHe.”
\n \u201cYeah, he points it straight at the guy’s forehead,” she makes her index finger like a pistol at
\nEve’s forehead. \u201cLike this: click, click, click at his head.”
\n \u201cGet off bitch,” Eve said, moving her head away.
\n\u201cOh my God! What did you do?”
\n \u201cWhat could I do but take a load in my pants. Rhonda just goes off on the guy, pistol-whipping him. He hit him so hard the guy is on the ground. She’s just on top of him, beating this huge fag against the pavement. And I’m like, okay, I should go now. And then the cops show up and try to get Rhonda off the guy. But Rhonda, in a quick burst of crazy, starts swinging her arms and manages to run away from the police.”
\n \u201cMust have been hilarious.”
\n \u201cAre you kidding? I thought I was about to die!
\nThey eventually caught up with Rhonda. They handcuffed her and sat her down in a squad car for like an hour.”
\n \u201cWhere was Rhonda’s wig during all this?”
\n \u201cAmazingly still on his head.”
\n \u201cHe uses glue or something?”
\n \u201cThey asked Mr. Olympia if he wanted to press charges and he had a huge fit as blood is squirting out of his head yelling, \u2018What do you think?’ The cop was like, \u2018I’m sorry sir, we thought it was a lover’s quarrel.’ After they questioned me I went over to the squad car to say goodbye to Rhonda. I overheard the cop asking him his name but Rhonda wouldn’t answer and she just sat there mumbling something about poetry.”
\n \u201cWow, that is fucking crazy.”
\n \u201cFucking crazy is right,” Lisa said. \u201cBut anyway, before any of that stuff happened we were talking shit about you and David.”
\n \u201cOh no, here we go again.”
\n \u201cRhonda told me he ran into David and he was pretty chummy talking about you. Rhonda said that David said that he kind of has a \u2018spiritual soul mate thing’ going on with you. He said David couldn’t really explain it and was beginning to feel like he was falling in love with you and that you, perhaps were the only woman he could ever be with.”
\nEve laughed and sat back. \u201cThe first time we met, at The Living Room, he knew. I don’t know how, but he knew. I could see it in his eyes. He read me. And he’s the first. He was very discreet, alluding to things mostly. He never meant any harm. When it came out in the open between him and me, he said he gave his highest regards to whichever place I went to have it done.”
\n \u201cYou never told me this.”
\n \u201cHe said he had a friend who had the same thing done to him and he got clocked.”
\n \u201cClocked? What’s that mean?”
\n \u201cThey messed up. She couldn’t achieve an orgasm. She became depressed and changed her mind after the final surgery and she shot herself.”
\n \u201cThat’s so sad,” Lisa said, covering her mouth with her hands.
\n \u201cI know, that’s what I said, and then he smiled and I forgot about it. You know what he told me? He said I looked like Barmaid from East of Eden.”
\n \u201cThe what?”
\n \u201cI know that’s what I said. It’s a movie. He said I looked like the girl in the movie. Some James Dean movie from the fifties. He caressed my face and lips. It was so intimate. And then he said, \u2018You must have been a beautiful man.’ His exact words.”
\n The phone rang twice before Eve, looking at Lisa, and then at the phone, picked it up.
\n \u201cHello?”
\n \u201cEve?”
\n \u201cYes, Luis?”
\n \u201cHow are you?”
\n \u201cJust getting all dolled up, and you?”
\n \u201cI’m running late about half hour. Just wanted to let you know.”
\n \u201cYou are such a gentleman for calling, Luis!”
\n \u201cI know mami’. You love it, don’t you?”
\n \u201cYes, of course. It tells me a lot.”
\n \u201cSo, hopefully, you are not too bothered.”
\n \u201cNo, of course not.”
\n \u201cI will see you then. Okay?”
\n \u201cOkay, bye.”
\n \u201cCiao darling.”
\n Eve smiled big and hung up the phone. \u201cSuch a cool guy, he called to say he was going to be a little late.”<\/p>\n
\n \u201cWhat about David?” Lisa said.
\n \u201cWhat about, David?”
\n \u201cHe’s nice and sweet. But not nice like what you’d say about a boring guy. But nice like damn, he’s fine.”
\n \u201cHis big dream is to open a restaurant in Tahiti right beside the beach. He calls it his future
\nparadise. David is a good guy, but I don’t like him like that.”
\n \u201cWhy not?”
\n \u201cBecause I don’t want to be poor.”
\n \u201cThat makes sense, I guess,” Lisa said, checking her nails, like if she was about to file them.
\n A knock at the front door startled them both. Eve and Lisa looked at each other. Lisa smiled. Eve laughed.<\/p>\n![fz.jpg](\"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/03\/fz.jpg\")
\nABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/strong>
\nFawzy Zablah<\/strong> was born in El Salvador and raised in Miami. His work has appeared at Litvision<\/em>, Muslimwakeup.com<\/em><\/a> and Girls With Insurance<\/em>. He also wrote a short story book called Ciao! Miami<\/em><\/a> and is a fiction editor for 3:AM<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"![\"fz.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/03\/fz.thumbnail.jpg\")
When Eve was all made up, and the right shoes were picked, (black heels) and her hair sprayed and styled in the best possible way, and every avenue was exhausted including nails and fragrance, in accordance with the ritual a modern girl follows to make herself look proper for public consumption on Ocean Drive, the two best friends, relieved they had finished ahead of time, sat on the blue couch waiting for the call that would green light the evening.<\/p>\n