I’m doing this to make you see what’s going on in schools. \u00a0 We are at war and fate has made me a soldier to wage war on this war.<\/em><\/p>\n To the people who have never liked me, I say this \u2013 I know that very soon you are going to hell and believe me, it’s the worst place in the world. \u00a0 I know this because, thanks to you, I’ve been there for the last few years. \u00a0 But enough is enough. \u00a0 I’ve warned you so many times in my head to stop being horrible but you just kept on humiliating me in front of everyone.”<\/em><\/p>\n [Della holds up a bar of chocolate to the camera.]<\/p>\n \u201cThis is my only friend. \u00a0 It’s always there for me. \u00a0 Food doesn’t hate me. \u00a0 Only people hate me. \u00a0 And I know just how much because you can measure hate. \u00a0 Just by stepping on the scales you can measure it. \u00a0 According to you, my body is an insult and you’re right about that\u2026 it’s every insult you’ve ever shouted. \u00a0 They’re all over me, every last one, layer after layer of them.<\/em><\/p>\n But now I’ve reached the bottom of my sadness. \u00a0 Now I’m just angry because I don’t like what people have decided about me, about who you say I am. \u00a0 What I’m doing here now, it’s my decision and that makes me feel good. \u00a0 For once, I feel good about myself so that means what I’m doing must be right.<\/em><\/p>\n It’s funny how something as stupid as my size is enough to undo so many lives. \u00a0 And lives will be undone, believe me. \u00a0 What I’m doing here now is revenge for the actions of all those who hate me. \u00a0 This is my revenge on all those people who wouldn’t listen to me or stop them hurting me. \u00a0 To all of you I say, you will die of my revenge. \u00a0 You are to blame for what I’m doing. \u00a0 Words hurt, but bombs hurt more. \u00a0 With this I’m going to feed your bodies to the air.” \u00a0 [She pulls a plastic bottle, a large packet and a mobile phone from a schoolbag and holds them up.] \u00a0 \u201cI’m using all the things you’ve used against me over the years to hurt you. \u00a0 Yes, I’m a geek and a swot but for once, I’m glad. \u00a0 Not that making a bomb is hard. \u00a0 Like they say on the website, it’s so easy a child could do it. \u00a0 But still, I’m using the things I’m good at to destroy the people who made me hate myself. \u00a0 If you think you can make someone’s life a misery without it coming back on your doorstep, then you have another think coming. \u00a0 No one is immune from sadness and suffering and by doing this I will prove it to you all.<\/em><\/p>\n I don’t fear the blame of any blamer for what I’m doing. \u00a0 The people who will die are nothing to me now, just as I’ve always been nothing to them. \u00a0 When I walk into assembly tomorrow, I will look into the eyes of the bullies and know they will die. \u00a0 I will die first though, so for once I will be better than them.<\/em><\/p>\n It’s nearly time to go. \u00a0 Heaven is moving towards me; I can feel it in my room. \u00a0 It’s pink, every shade of pink and the most beautiful thing ever. \u00a0 And by going to heaven I think I will become beautiful too. \u00a0 According to you, I’m ugly, a freak \u2013 that’s what you’ve decided about me, but in heaven it will be different. \u00a0 My mum will see to that.”<\/em><\/p>\n [She pulls out a photograph and holds it up.]<\/p>\n \u201cThis is the picture of me I’d like to be used in the newspapers and on the telly, please. \u00a0 It’s got my dad in it too but you can crop him out like they do with photos of murder victims. \u00a0 We don’t have many family pictures and none with just me in them so this will have to do. \u00a0 I’m wearing my favourite dress, the green one nobody likes. \u00a0 And I have another request. \u00a0 At my funeral, I want everyone to wear fancy dress. \u00a0 And I want lots of flowers and balloons and cakes as well. \u00a0 I want it to be like a birthday party everyone wants to come to. \u00a0 I want people to have fun and be happy I’m not there.”<\/em><\/p>\n [Della turns away from the camera briefly, clears her throat then continues to read.]<\/p>\n \u201cI thought it would be easy to explain why I’m doing this but I don’t think I have the grown-upness to say it properly. \u00a0 It’s all just nonsense really, just a lot of words; I might as well have written them in the dark. \u00a0 And some of them aren’t even mine. \u00a0 Anyway, whatever I say, you lovers of life and you haters of death, you will come to your own conclusions about why I’m doing this. \u00a0 These words will mean nothing to you. \u00a0 You won’t listen to me because you’ve never listened to me. \u00a0 You will say I’m just a child, that I don’t know what I’m doing, but you’re wrong. \u00a0 This is a beautiful operation and I urge others like me, the unlovely and unloved, to take heed and remove themselves from the grip of the haters. \u00a0 It’s time to teach them a lesson they will never forget.<\/em><\/p>\n I’ve got to go now because my dad will be back from the pub soon. \u00a0 Anyway, there’s nothing more to say about this. \u00a0 I just ask my mum to forgive me\u2026 to understand and forgive me. \u00a0 And I hope that fate will help other young people like me, everywhere and in everyway.”<\/em><\/p>\n Concluding the press conference, DSI Lord read out a statement from Della’s father. \u00a0 In it Graham McCarthy asked for forgiveness on behalf of his daughter, for compassion in trying to understand her actions and to be left alone to grieve the loss of his only child. \u00a0 The investigation into the tragic events in Bradford is now closed but the debate about bullying in schools and the increasingly violent tendencies of children is far from over. \u00a0 The Home Secretary is expected to announce tomorrow the setting up of a special task force to look into the problem. \u00a0 Meanwhile, an inner-city comprehensive devastated by the actions of one troubled pupil, is left struggling to come to terms with what happened.<\/p>\n![\"mgm-thumb.JPG\"](\"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/11\/mgm-thumb.JPG\")
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In its first public viewing, Della McCarthy’s suicide video was then shown to journalists. The footage is a chilling reminder of the martyrdom videos broadcast during the trial of eight men accused of plotting to bomb transatlantic airliners with home-made liquid explosives. In the film shot in her bedroom, Della is dressed in school uniform and reading from a prepared script written in a red exercise book. The handwriting in an exercise book found at the McCarthy’s home, has been confirmed as Della’s. What follows is an unedited transcript of what she read out in the video.<\/p>\n