![\"katerinakashchavtseva\"](\"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/katerinakashchavtseva-300x199.jpg\")
<\/p>\nBy Katerina Kashchavtseva.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
i no longer want
\nchildren or family<\/p>\n
only
\nheavy smoking
\nchaos
\nand worthless stewing
\nin the bars
\nand 4 arch gateways<\/p>\n
i cut through
\ncurrents of people
\nnot knowing
\nwhether this stream
\nhas somebody
\ni no longer love<\/p>\n
my dramatically low flight<\/p>\n
why do i feel
\nso happy?
\nthe happiest
\nof all<\/p>\n
me
\na dirty woman
\npaid two hundred bucks
\nto do “natural things”
\nwith five strangers
\nin the car park<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
hotel “hotel” is full of ghosts
\nbored out of my scull i hunt after
\nthem with a folded newspaper
\na gentleman on the sofa
\nis casting devious stares in my direction
\nand precisely at that moment his wife
\nis having their first child taken out
\nof her womb
\nin a semi-dark ladies’ room i turn
\noff the lights and say “bloody marry” three times
\ninto the black smoothness of a mirror, and she
\nappears, surely, full of haunting stories,
\nmouth like a red stain; big purple bruise on her neck looks like
\na night butterfly sucking from her vein
\ni wonder if it hurts, but try not to look
\ni just stand there, pretending
\ni am washing my hands in the cold, cold water
\nthe baby cries.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
ABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/strong> By Katerina Kashchavtseva.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":155,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39099","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39099","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/155"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39099"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39099\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nUkrainian born in 1982, Katia Kashchavtseva \u00a0got her first degree as an interpreter, majoring in English and Spanish. In 2009 she moved from Kiev to London and enrolled on a Creative and Professional Writing course at Roehampton University, studying under Jeff Hilson. An aspiring writer, Katia was strongly influenced by \u00a0the work \u00a0of J.D.Salinger and J. Steinbeck.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"![](\"https:\/\/www.3ammagazine.com\/3am\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/katerinakashchavtseva-150x150.jpg\")
i cut through
\ncurrents of people
\nnot knowing
\nwhether this stream
\nhas somebody
\ni no longer love
\nmy dramatically low flight
\nwhy do i feel
\nso happy?
\nthe happiest
\nof all
\nme
\na dirty woman
\npaid two hundred bucks
\nto do “natural things”
\nwith five strangers
\nin the car park<\/p>\n