Vague Obscenities
While she slept, Paul measured Kate, who slept flat as a cork board. She came in a hair over 4”²11”³. Paul checked on both snoring kids and then performed a number of Google searches about shrinking young females. He parsed through articles about minimal jail sentences, mothers struggling to juggle work/life issues, and anorexia. He stumbled across a list of famous 4”²11”³ women, including actress Nell Carter, author Laura Ingalls Wilder, Senator Barbara Boxer, and internet celebrity Tila Tequila. After studying a number of Tila Tequila pictures, Paul slept better than he had in weeks.
By David Erlewine.