By Ofelia Hunt.
I did not shop on Black Friday
Because little boys would trample me
For VCRs at Best Buy
I would hamstring these boys
Then tear their throats out and scream
Until they became zombies
And lurched toward me
Through the strip-mall shopping center
I would scream and run very fast
And trip over somebody’s parents
And the zombies would slowly feast on my blood
I knew all this would happen
So I went to Denny’s with my boyfriend instead
For pancakes and coffee
And we saw Tom Cruise and his baby
And I stole his baby I told the baby
“You are important you are a terrorist
Because one baby is like any other baby
And baby terrorists are more effective
Than non-baby terrorists”
But the baby cried for a while
So we left it in a bed of lettuce at Safeway
And Tom Cruise became a zombie
And feasted on our blood
But I filmed him and black-mailed him
And now I’m on cable television
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ofelia Hunt currently lives in Portland and Seattle. Poems available online at Apocryphal Text and Dusie. Fiction chapbook titled My eventual bloodless coup on Bear Parade. Read work in progress at Elephant seals negate the tactile universe.