Over Dinner, the Life Story of the Wandering Jew
“When I was born, my parents worked in a smelting factory in Gary. My brother was missing some fingers and my sister was mildly aphasic. My mother ingested a lot chemicals through her skin, took drugs for medical tests, got hooked on laudenum. I came out ok though, maybe a bit small, but breathing and bright.
“Would you mind working on those burgers, I’m starving.
“So I got good marks, wiped my brother when he couldn’t hold the toilet paper, filled in all my sister’s missing words. I started accumulating quite a collection, kept them in a little blue notebook - the kind you use for exams. Well, I recombined them and got myself into the comparative religion program at Purdue. Studied taoism while my sister cleaned my brother in silence.
“What happened to my mother’s hardly worth mentioning, and Dad just smelted until cancer.
“Oh, thank you. I’ll take mine on the rare side.
“So then we were at Purdue weren’t we. Needless to say, the end of that yielded magna cum laude, a free ride at Notre Dame, a dalliance with the priesthood, a longer alliance with a girl from back east.
“No, nothing like that. I’ve never even been to Palestine, never cobbled in my life. The only mount I’ve been near is Rushmore, driving to California with a girl I thought I loved who turned out to love somebody already living in San Bernadino.
“This is delicious. Thank you again.
“So, stuck out west with a degree and a broken heart, I answered adverts in the classifieds, learned a few new acronyms, wound up with a career and handful of affairs. I married the strongest girl I ever knew. I still dream of those linebacker biceps.
“Well, she was over 40, so it wasn’t a real surprise when we lost the baby. I don’t need to explain the acrimony or lack of reason.
“Yes, actually. My mother was Jewish, so I suppose I am despite my Catholic upbringing.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ben Segal is the author of 78 Stories (No Record Press, 2008). His short fiction has appeared in or is forthcoming from various publications including Word Riot, elimae, and Wigleaf. He is also a regular contributor to Ghost Island.
First published in 3:AM Magazine: Wednesday, April 1st, 2009.
