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Toxic Thought Syndrome
3 AM COLLECTIVE RANTINGS OF JIM MARTIN


JUNE 19, 2004
"We're moving now into the "Reality TV" years, and that's why the debates are failing us. Where people have no time for things like "issues" or "discussion", they would gladly sit through twenty weeks of election process if it meant a twice-weekly show where all candidates for a particular riding lived together in seclusion, and the citizenry were allowed to call a 1-900 number to have them voted off. Sure, we'd wind up with a Natural Law Party majority government because the bastard conservatives never won a single luxury competition, but we'd be happy." 3am chief editor Jim Martin finally gets off his ass and revives Toxic Thought Syndrome with a look at the recent Canadian political debates and how they've changed with the needs of the masses.

DECEMBER 18, 2002
"Talk to someone else's kids today (yours aren't going to tell you the truth anyway) and you'll be surprised about how they view their parents in the same light that you viewed yours in, that they viewed theirs in, and that all children have viewed all parents in since time began. Guess what? Nothing changes." After a too-long hiatus, 3am's Jim Martin resurrects Toxic Thought Syndrome.

MAY 11, 2002
"Woah woah woah. What in the hell do you mean? First off, I'm not going to get arrested because I'm not going to do anything wrong. I'm certainly not going out there to kick some ass and take some names, I just want to exercise my right to protest. How does that turn into a jail sentence? As far as the notion of things turning violent, there is that possibility. I don't deny that, and I while I do not in any way condone it, I think I have an understanding as to why things do turn out that way."

FEBRUARY 25, 2002
"As long as you keep buying the crap they make you think you need, the more you have to work that job you hate so very much just to keep up. It's the modern day slavery. The key is that you aren't the slave to a nasty terror state that drinks the sweat from your brow like nectar. That would give you something to hate, something to stand up to. No, the enemy here is your own dumb self, and you are just too stupid to see what you're doing to yourself."

FEBRUARY 10, 2002
"Of course it bugs me that there are bad teachers. I would consider myself one of the truly lucky in this world if I could be there to see some of their faces when they attempted to justify their pay raise and were denied because they were bad at their jobs. I Would actually giggle like a schoolgirl. But the problem is that there are plenty of dumbrags in every environment, people who haven't got a clue how to do their jobs and still manage to get the raises. It's a flawed world, and sometimes good things happen to jerks. Yes, often, good things happen to jerks."

FEBRUARY 3, 2002
"Maybe letting some teacher say "God bless you" in school isn't the same thing as organizing a Hitler Youth Movement, but it's the sort of thing that can lead to that. Religion is a difference, and we focus on those enough in our schools. How about on just one freaking issue we let kids stop comparing and contrasting and start just accepting that they're kids."

JANUARY 27, 2002
"See, the problem is that nobody buys that. They get all lost in the details. They're like lawyers, those slavering dogs of corruption who exist only to weaken the spirit of the rule by finding the exception. When you focus on the details you start to find areas where someone said something that just didn't fit in, or maybe there's a conflict here, or maybe the concepts feel a little old fashioned. People fight wars over the details. Put another way, people die over the details."

JANUARY 20, 2002
"This is the trouble with complacency, folks. People don't mind taking the passive aggressive route and muttering profanity under their breath, but they do what they are told. Don't rock the boat, especially when you're in it, right? What happened to us? Remember what you felt like the first time you saw The Breakfast Club, or Pump Up the Volume, or even Boyz in the Hood. You walked around for days feeling different, like you were connected and a part of something great. Where did that go?"

JANUARY 13, 2002
"The truth is that no businessman buys a bad business. Health care isn't in bad shape or it wouldn't be a worthwhile investment. This is just the petty interests of some people who don't mind watching the invisible hand scratch society's ass from time to time."

JANUARY 06, 2002
"Here's a clever example of a company selling that information. It all started with a little idea in my head. I noticed in the phone book that there were lots of entries for things like "Dr. Johnson's Kids Line". It occurred to me that the text that they print out as the name on the listing has to be potentially different than the billing information. You wouldn't send an invoice to Dr. Johnson's Kids Line, would you?"

DECEMBER 15, 2001
"I don't know about where you live, but where I live there isn't a whole hell of a lot of commitment to the local arts community, and this is a good example. The notion of making money through advertising has poisoned the interest in letting less profitable but more local artists have the chance to express themselves."

NOVEMBER 21, 2001
"Think about it. The whole RRSP thing works on small groups. Some guy figures out that if he invests in just this way, his money grows quicker than the bank rate or the inflation rate and he's happy. He tells a buddy. They tell the whole damn country club. If everyone at the club kept their mouth shut, this would work out well. The whole club could exploit the situation and make off like kings."

OCTOBER 23, 2001
"What's the real problem, though? The truth is that everyone is hung up on this left/right thing. What we need is what John Ralston Saul (husband of the Canadian Governor General, and all around amazing human being) refers to as disinterest. Can we please stop approaching all of our problems from the left or the right, and instead approach them as problems? There are a million solutions to problems, we just have to find the right one. Sometimes the best solution is right wing solution, and sometimes it makes more sense to go with the left. For God's sake, even Mike Tyson knows to bite from both sides of the head."

SEPTEMBER 17, 2001
"Suddenly we have no trouble finding the guilty parties. How long was it after JFK was killed that Oswald was captured? Not bad for a crime with no eye witnesses."




 
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