By Caroline Clark.
The bedside stool held her book and homemade book corner, which she’d learned to make from the internet. At the moment the algorithms were sending her crafting ideas, but some fashion ones too, so she already knew what kind of waist she was supposed to have when she grew up. She’d started wearing a belt but could only last a few minutes. Now when she undressed she’d sometimes squeeze the flesh around her middle and the next day she’d do a few star jumps. Once she said she was on a diet and didn’t eat her weekend Haribos.
She didn’t get to decide many things about her life. The ones who got to decide were her mother, who was boss, or sometimes her dad, who’d ask her mum if he wasn’t sure.
People who also didn’t get to decide anything were the Ukrainians in the neighbours’ garden cabin. They were running away from being bombed and that couldn’t happen here because here they were protected by other countries and also Ukraine was very far away.
She wasn’t supposed to bother them but sometimes she sat on the bench at the back of the garden and hummed. Then the lady would come out and call her a dove and pass her a slice of lovely white salo over the fence. That was her favourite food now. Salty, it melted on the tongue and made you want more. Sometimes she delayed the moment of consumption. She’d press her front teeth into it to admire their impression. She’d nibble round the edges, but that wasn’t the best way. The best was to eat it in one. Nub, flub, tub, it went in. Nub, flub, tub, it went down. A lifetime of this was all she dreamed of.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Caroline Clark is the author of three books: Saying Yes in Russian (Agenda Editions, 2012), Sovetica (CB Editions, 2021), and Own Sweet Time (CB Editions, 2022). Her essays have appeared in Firmament and minor literature[s]. She works as a Russian community interpreter in Lewes, UK.
