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BUZZWORDS

PEDDLING MIND PORN TO THE
CHATTERING CLASSES SINCE 2000
by Andrew Gallix and Utahna Faith

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      [13.10.06] [Utahna Faith]
    WALKING THE COW: POEMS BY MIKE TOPP
    "Here's some free advice / for new fathers: / Never eat a diaper, / even if you're starving."

    Walking the Cow: Poems by Mike Topp


    An Exercise

    1. Imagine you are interviewing a whale.

    (Think of three questions you would like to ask a whale.)


    Quotation

    "London is like New York City without tears."
    - John Ashbery


    Quotation

    "It's crazy how clean Scandinavia is. You can lean anywhere."
    - Josephine Baker


    Free Advice

    Here's some free advice
    for new fathers:

    Never eat a diaper,
    even if you're starving.


    Universal Truth

    We are all
    pornographers.


    Waffle House

    My friend from Waffle House says if you stacked all of the sausage patties they serve in one day, it would reach the top of the Empire State Building. I say, why bother?


    Seattle

    Hey, look! It's raining!


    Equestrian Poem

    As I lean back in the saddle,
    the horse farts like a hurricane.


    Quotation

    "Although our information is incorrect, we do not guarantee it."
    - Erik Satie


    Quotation

    "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes."
    - Andy Warhol


    Quotation

    "As Andy Warhol said: In the future everyone will be famous for ten minutes."
    - Geraldo Rivera


    Fax

    She
    faxed me
    one dollar.


    Theory

    Theoretically if you take all the blood vessels out of your body and laid them end to end you would die.


    Pleasurable

    How pleasurable
    it is to
    have two moustaches.


    ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
    Mike Topp's work has appeared in McSweeney's, Exquisite Corpse, and elsewhere. He is the author of Happy Ending, Where We Found You, I Used To Be Ashamed of My Striped Face and other books.

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